argh. what on the fucking world is life for? why must i live so tiredl like almost everyday? this isn't the life i want. and it's all because of stupid reasons, friendship, love, studies, freedom. i though a lot just now. is this the kind of life i want? why am i giving in to everyone? don't i have the freedom to do what i want to do? is my life controlled by others? what for? adding to this, of all times you had to tell me that. maybe i should just migrate to some king of funny weirdo country that wont let anyone control my life. i cannot get out, and i cant seem to. it's not that i don't wish, it's because i can't. what ever i want todo, i know it's gonna hurt another person. so what for? and by sparing a fucking thought for them, who's gonna spare a thought for me? i ever asked myself, why i ever let myself be so tired. there's no answer to it. my life's screwed. my friendship's screwed. everything's screwed up. and nothing is left to make me happy.

love is sometimes a magic.
but magic can sometimes be an illusion.



rachel